Mä saavuin Kölniin keskiviikkona klo 9.30 ja tapasin hjannen Der Domin (der Tomin <3) portaiden edessä. Käytiin hostellilla syömässä aamupalaa, jättämässä mun matkatavat säilöön sekä hypettämässä muutama tunti koneen äärellä.

Keskipäivän pintaan me lähdettiin talsimaan Kölnin katuja etsiäksemme kaupan, josta saataisin printattua valokuvat nimmareita varten.

Jossain vaiheessa matkaa meille iski nälkä ja käytiin Subwayssa leivillä. Ateriaan kuului melkein myös ampiainen, joka lirahti limuautomaatista jaffan mukana mun mukiini, yöäk XD

Sitten me jatkettiin matkaa nätin puiston läpi, kunnes alkoi näkymään O2-mainoksia, joissa oli myös TH:N keikka ja sen kohdalle kiinnitetty valkoset a4-laput ”No more tickets”. Tunnelin jälkeen oikealla häämöttikin Süd Stationin tilapäinen O2 World on tour-halli! Jonotusalue oli jo kasattu valmiiksi metalli-aidoilla ja aluetta kiertelivät kymmenen vartijat, joita mekin jututettiin jonotuksesta.

 

( Ja tarina jatkuu )

to be continued...

I was going through boy_touching and was surprised (... or not?) to spot Cristiano! This is so funny. xD 'Cristiano Ronaldo has an awakening of his sexuality'

I bet everyone's seen it and I'm really late, but eh :D

An deiner Seite was just on Viva's Virgin Diaries :D ... not that I'm watching it, it's just background noise ;D And now a bit of Jimi Blue's All Alone! I love Viva :D

Yay, I'm writing again :) TH Slash in Finnish, woohoo. I have this whole story in my head and I find myself going back and wondering whether I'm making the original character seem too un-stranger in the text 'cos I go back and forth in the fic, writing scenes here and there, then I get ideas for the sequel and write scenes there, and here I am, writing the second day they've ever seen each other and in my mind Bill and Wido have pretty much "known" each other a hundred years or something :DD Eh... I should prolly get a beta...

I can't wait to finish the first story ^^ Then I'll translate it into English *nod*

Heee, and me and Ani are gonna be spending a month in Berlin in the spring to study German ^^ And I have a job again, woo :DD Second day today, stupid cashier stuff, but it's good money so I like it :P

I've got to write this down again...

During our USA and Hamburg-Berlin trips, I had about one or two nightmares about Romppa. Other than that I escaped missing him pretty good, although the cities seemed full of dogs with people dragging them around.

Last night, at home, I had a dream about him again. I don't want to cry again while writing this down again, but I want to remember these dreams 'cos that's all I have of my Pieni anymore. Stop crying. I was sleeping in some room and woke up to the feel of someone crawling over me. In the dream Romppa was dead, so when I opened my eyes to see him lying down on my stomach, I started crying, surprise. Stop crying! And the rest of the dream was pretty much him wiggling on top of me like he used to do when he was still here. It was the best dream ever. Until I went over to dad to show him that Romppa was back and I pointed at my bed and he wasn't there anymore.

I hate being at home now that Romppa's gone. This place isn't my home anymore, this is just some hollow shack where we've lived for a year and a half. Everything reminds me of Romppa and just coming home from somewhere makes me bawl 'cos Romppa isn't there when I open the door to wiggle his tail and be adorable.

I hate crying.

Mä saatan jopa kyetä kirjottamaan järkeä tekevän postin vähän myöhemmin, kun saan matkapäiväkirjat avuksi. :D Se jääköön huomiseen tai loppuviikoks, mutta täytynee nyt sanoa, että kyllä se Jenkkilä taitaa olla unelmien maa ainakin osakseen. Keikoilla pääsi lähes eturiviin alle 9 tunnin jonotuksella, kun taas Euroopassa sitä kultasta paikkaa ei omakseen sellasella ajalla todellakaan saa. Ja poikulit oli niin upeita, veti keikat niin hyvin ja oli aivan älyttömän sulosia nimmarikeikalla. Niin läppää, miten paljon pienet eleet voi merkitä, mutta Bill oli ihana kun se sano mulle 'Hi'. <3 Ja Tom ehkä pelasti mun päivän, kun se kurkkas ylös nimmarinkirjottamiseltaan liu'uttaessaan sen paperin Gegelle ja katto mua silmiin : ) Bill ja Tom on niin täysin taivaallisen kauniita, siinä ei oo mitään järkeä. Bill nyt on niin nätti, mutta Tom... good grief... miten herra voikin olla niin kaunis ja komea yhtä aikaan?

Ja Gustav, oh... ^^ Kun me astuttiin siihen putiikkiin sisään, niin (god bless my pink hair :D) Gustin katse osu mun omaan. *squeeee* Ja heti oli sydän vatsassa, vaikka yritin pitää itteni koossa :D Aika hyvin onnistuin, vaikka pitkältä (ja toisaalta taas nopeelta) se pieni lenkki siinä jonossa kaupan sisällä tuntuikin.

Kun Ani asteli Tobin käden ohjaamana Billin eteen, mua alko jo jännittään ihan vitusti. Mun hiukset, meikit ja vaatteet oli aivan varmasti ihan perseestä ja mä tekisin huonoimman ensivaikutelman koskaan xD Ei siinä kuitenkaan ehtiny panikoida, kun sit tuli mun vuoro ja laskin mun kartonkini pöydälle, katsahdin alas Billin UPEISIIN kasvoihin/silmiin/hiuksiin lol ja moikkasin sitä. Jumalattoman kaunis poika. Ei elämä. "Hey...", just niin ujosti ja säälittävästi kun joku vaan pystyy :D Bill oli ihana kun se sano mulle 'Hi'. <3 Sit Bill heitti kiekuransa paperille ja liu'utti sen Tomille. Tomppa signeeras ja alotti liu'uttaa sen Gegelle. Mä olin ihan "nuuuub, Tomppa ei kato muhun, nein :( :D", tuijotin vaan haltioituneena sen ihanuutta ja sillon se kurkkas ylös muhun ja mä koin un petit mort'in. Halusit sitten ajatella sitä pienenä kuolemana tai orgasmina xD

Gege feidas mut kokonaan, mut annettakoon se anteeks, koska urpo hymyili niin kauniisti aiemmin ja sillä oli upeet hiukset. :D Oh, ja Gustav... ihqutetaan taas Gustia... oh. Se on niin komia omalla jurolla tavallaan : ) Ihanat silmät. Se kirjotti nimmarinsa paperiin vikana ja ojens sen mulle ja katto ihanasti syvälle silmiin. Kuolin. Hyvä että sain kiinni siitä paperista ku hymyilin sille ja sanoin "Thank you" vaikka mun piti sanoa DANKE SCHÖN. xD Mä hoilaan aina danke schöniä ja en muuta suunnitellukaan ku sanovani jokaselle hallo ja danke schön, mutta tiukan paikan tullen kaikki lensi ku poikaset pesästä ja tuttu enkku iski hampaansa muhun :/ :D Mut voih, poikuilit <3

Polvet alko tutisemaan kaupan eteisessä, kun olin kävelly näköetäisyydeltä pois :D Oli hieman epärealistinen fiilis. ~Ne oli siinä, mun edessä.~ Ulkona mä vikisin ja rutistin Ania xD

Toivottavasti saan huomenna kirjotettua ylös lisää keikkamatka-tarinaa lentokoneessa ylös, koska mä en halua unohtaa mitään <3 Nyt lähetään siis huomenna Hannen kanssa Hampuriin ja Berliiniin ilman Ania, koska sillä loppu budjetti.

Toi matka
♥

nyt ollaan kipeitä, mutta jo parantumaan päin :D Eikun Saksanmaalle! Pirun Bushido.

ja videoita saattaa ajan kanssa löytyy tuubista : ) hier

I keep having dreams about Romppa. On the other hand it's nice, 'cos I miss him and I'm afraid I'll forget what he was like. On the other hand, it's horrible 'cos only one dream of the three was pleasant. In the second one we were in a room with a chair and a table... and Romppa was lying under the table on the floor and we had to watch him die. It was horrible, but then again... that's what happened. Fuck.

The night before last night I had a dream where Romppa had died on our couch. Although it wasn't really our house, some weird block house. He was lying on the couch and we'd covered him with pillows. I went to sit on the couch and accidentally sat on his legs and started crying. Then he moved and woke up. That was the best dream ever 'cos he came back to live and I started sobbing and took him out for a walk. It felt so good even though it was just a dream. Waking up was depressing, though. I miss the tiny thing so much, but it's getting better... I just have to ignore the fact that he used to be 95% of my life.

We're going to TH's gigs in New York and Philadelphia! That's pretty much the only thing that's getting me through everyday life now that Romppa's gone... It's been a week now. <3 And it's not getting any easier. I quit my job 'cos they allow dogs in Bauhaus and I can't deal with that right now, so I've applied to a few places and hopefully I'll have a new job by the time we get back from USA and Hamburg/Berlin in November.

Haven't on here lately...

Today I have to, though.
We had to put Romppa down.

I have cried today more than I can bear and it won't seem to stop. Everything in the house triggers memories and I can't stand the thought of not getting to walk around a corner and bumping into his wiggling tail or bright grinning eyes.

He's been down yesterday and today he peed a little blood. When I saw it, I burst into tears and we took him to the vet. Which was everything I'd feared for all through his life and worse, because it was real and the outcome was horrible. At first I thought I'd let dad take him to be examined by himself and I'd have stayed in the car, but me and Romppa have a special bond in our family so I couldn't let him go by himself as much as it killed me.

And then.... we found out he had a huge tumor in his spleen, I think, and it had spread to his kidney. Words can't do justice to the fucking sorrow and pain and what not I felt when I kissed his nose and cheeks and head and whatever I could reach and to know that would be it. No more.

And to see when he died... I was holding his head, stroking him when the vet put the needle in... and then his head suddenly dropped like dead weight and the nurse took over 'cos I wasn't expecting it to happen so fast. I kind of sat there on the floor next to him and stroked his body up and down a few times, not able to believe what's happened... It all happened so fast. And Romppa seemed to just want to go home! He was fine! But he wasn't...

Today killed me. I'd been dreading this day 'cos he was the utmost important thing in my life. Just a dog? That's bullshit.